different

Contentment and Regret

2012-01-25T09:57:00.000-08:00

"Contentment" seems realistically defined as "enjoyment of whatever may be desired". That definition is realistic because the more contented an individual or community becomes the less extreme so more acceptable their desires will be. Contentment is an intuitive natural concept, whereas "peace" is a civil and so non-intuitive concept dependent on restriction, whereas contentment was and is self sustaining. -Wikipedia

Regret is a negative conscious and emotional reaction to personal past acts and behaviors. Regret is often expressed by the term "sorry." Regret is often felt when someone feels sadness, shame, embarrassment, depression, annoyance or guilt after committing an action or actions that the person later wishes that s/he had not done or having not committed. -Wikipedia

Contentment is somehow related to regret. If a person does not desire for more or accept the things that s/he have, contentment would be achieved but when a person seeks for more than what s/he have, here comes regret. There's no wrong in seeking much better things but if it just make you feel insecure and self pity, well there's something wrong. You regret because if you didn't do this or that in the first place, it would not resulted to what had happened. Regret is an awful thing. All I can say, learn to appreciate whether little or big it may be because you'll never knew that when you think you lost a small one, you already lost a big one.

To all the girls, learn to love the person who is willing to take each and every chance to make you feel happy like you are the only girl in the world and you are his everything, don't compare, learn to appreciate, be showy even for a while and be contented.

Afraid: Filled with fear or concern.

2012-01-23T05:54:00.000-08:00

"My everything."

It is my first time to undergo this kind of feeling. The fear of loosing this person makes me wanna go insane. I'm afraid that one day, she'll tell me that she doesn't love me anymore and want to bring back her life before we met each other. It bothers me so much because i really love this girl, I even think my future with her having a good life with our kids. I know that their five years of relationship is hard to forget easily that is why I'm doing my very best even in small little ways to show her that I will be better even if it is not the best, to be the man who will do everything just to show how important she is, and how she means to me. Distance is killing me because in reality we are miles apart, that is why communication is one important factor to be able to maintain our relationship. I want her to know that even if I'm at work, the thought of her remains in my mind. That I'm working not just for myself but to give her the things that could make her happy. I don't know what to do. When she's at home and not answering my calls neither replying to my messages, i just want to hurt myself. I don't know a single person whom I can call or send a message to check if she's fine or what's happening to her. I hate this damn feeling! I look stupid because all I can do is communicate with her but it all ends in that when she's ignoring me. I'm so pathetic! A poor guy who doesn't make her girl feel special among other girls. The best for me could be just an ordinary effort for her. But whatever happens, I want you to know that I'll be the man you can count on and who will not just love you but do anything to show that my intentions are good and I will be yours forever. I love you so much!

2012-01-08T10:31:00.000-08:00

Earlier, i knew how being crazy feels like. I don't know what to do, my mind and my heart don't match each others decision.

"I know I'm not alone but I feel lonely", this statement made me feel how hard life can be. I tried my best to be the better man but somethings are not just made to fit each other. You can't be the person you aint to be. But i will and still try even if trying leads to nothing.

It is my first time to perceive this kind of feeling. An affecting state of consciousness that leads my emotion to wilderness. When she's feeling lonely, I wanted to be there, sit beside her and give her that hug so tight but the situation doesn't seem to agree. Distance is killing me in someway but it does teach me how to be more matured and appreciate the person's worth.

One more day to go and it would be our tough second month. Challenges are always right next to both of us and I'm grateful to it because if without these stimulating situations, I would not be able to change my old damn condition of being a person.

I love this person though she lacks in height, she definitely brings me into life. I already said many things but if i would to describe her love, words would not be enough, for when the heart is full, the mouth is speechless!

about

2011-09-27T08:02:00.000-07:00

Great men, like nature, use simple language —Marquis de Luc de Clappiers Vauvenargues

I live a simple life, getting things through hard work. My family is not that well-off so practicality is right next to me. Always so lazy. I hate it when I'm committing mistake and hear other people talking negative things about me, I loose self confidence and guts to continue what I'm doing.

For Four straight years, I've been inside the seminary and that changed my life. Some people would like me when they knew that I am a seminarian before and sometimes, it sucks because i have lots of vices and the idea why i left the seminary comes, I don't fit in.

Just an ordinary guy who does not believe in what he is capable of doing. Prefers being silent; less talk, less mistake. Silent waters run deep.

Absence of luxury and showiness is in me. White shirt and jeans would do. Just affording the ease of mind and body.

Music is something that relieves me in stress and makes my mood. Play little on guitar but doesn't make a thing on vocals.

Now, I'm just enjoying life and later on, leave my comfort zone.